Is Feminism always a fight for equality, or a fight for women only?

So maybe it’s just me, but as a kid, I was told many many many times who I should be and how I should change to be more liked by women. One of the biggest was being a nerd. Boys were told never to be a nerd. Don’t sound to smart around girls. Don’t talk about video games too much. There were even boys who did well in math and science who hid their the and homework scores to avoid being classified as a nerd. But it wasn’t just what you liked or was naturally good at that somehow made you less than a person. You couldn’t look the part either. If you wore glasses, expect to be called a nerd. If you were overweight or quiet, expect to be called a nerd. If you were overweight, you could basically forget about dating unless you were funny or had money. The only saving grace for being a nerd was that if you didn’t look good, at least have money so women will like you. That is what my parents told me, the girls in my class, that’s what I saw on television, ect.
I was told to be ashamed to be smart or like videogames, look a certain way, or even not being wealthy in the pursuit of not giving girls a reason to like me.
This isn’t to say that women don’t experience the same thing. They do. They are told to look and act a certain way to please males and to better their chances in finding a date. The problem is that we as a society only give attention to problems like this when they happen to women. There are so many gender neutral problems that people experience, especially in first world countries, but we have been told over and over again that the feelings of women is more important, so we must pay attention to their needs, despite both genders experiencing these frustrations. As a result, while women are being told that they are perfect no matter what, men continue to be told that they need to fit what women want instead of being themselves. Women like fit guys, so you better lose weight, dude. Women like tough guys, so you better show her how strong you are. Some women don’t want to work at all, so you better make enough money for the both of you. We don’t get those same “be who you are” or “you’re perfect the way you are” messages.
The fact that we give more attention to women for the same problem leads many people in 1st world countries to believe that men don’t experience this stuff at all. That men can’t be depressed, be suicidal, get abused, raped, attacked, or shamed. We just assume it doesn’t happen to men. That they are immune. Which leads to the whole feminist mindset of “we want to be treated like men”. What you fail to grasp is that you are already being treated like men, if not better. Your fight to end violence, but only for women, is not equality. Your support of women who cherry pick sexism out of video games is not equality. Your support of laws that further the assumption that men are always the aggressor is not equality. Your body positivity images directed only at women is not equality. At best it is simply making life more comfortable for women at the expense of the rights, support, and happiness of men. Because who cares about them, right?

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Give Me A Reason

Ah. They’ve caught one more presumed criminal. I can be heartless when it comes to hurt people who hurt me or my loved ones. But I feel like there is ALWAYS a reason people do things. People aren’t born criminals. You aren’t born anything but a breathing, relatively precious thing. We lose and take things along the way. We lose our innocence, we find things like love, and we pick up things like bitterness, anger as we pick up the pieces of our heart, and really that’s fine. Life is all about taking and giving…I guess (I’m stingy, when I pick up things, they are not going back – I’m extremely bitter and angry). But some people just take too much bad from life experiences, and they lose control over what they picked up. There is ALWAYS a reason. You don’t just kill people. Everyone is a little guilty. Somehow. Which is why there is almost no such thing as justice. By whose standards are we going to judge people? The people who make the rules are somewhat superior? Who gets to decide who’s right or wrong? People don’t take in mind what others might feel because then it wouldn’t be fair. They don’t base their judgement on reasons but on actions because that’s the way its the fairest.  And really they are right, there is no other way around it.

But I can’t help wanting to know the reason behind EVERYONE’s bad actions and choices. Specially if you killed. I don’t know why, but when I think of criminals, I feel some type of compassion, as if they were misunderstood. I try to find more beauty or good in them than in other people. Regular people – me and my heart just mostly (i’m sorry to admit it) put you in a box, categorize them as annoying people who contribute to my misery (LOL).
There is ALWAYS a reason people do bad things though. And sometimes, I feel it’s only right to judge them based on that reason. I don’t like people in general, I love them individually.

Good with benefit

People act like they do good things for no reasons. They act as though they do good just for the sake of it. Hypocrites, hypocrites. We’re human. It isn’t a choice, you do things with ulterior motives, for interests. STOP acting like only the people in which the motive is obvious are selfish.

People believe in God, and they say “Because God created it us, because he loves us, because God is good” which is really code for, “I love God because he gives me what I want and fulfills my needs”. Because as soon as God starts slacking, their faith starts shaking.

Conclusion, they pray God because they need him, because its better for THEM.

You help others for the glory of saying you helped, for the glory of being called “good”. Every controllable good action you put out is for your own glory and selfish reasons.

 

Instagram’s Immaturity

So, it’s summer, everyone is out with their “bae” going to the beach, and showing off how good of a relationship they’re in. Others are at home, taking selfies while they watch Netflix and eat food. Others are “turning up” and getting drunk at the club. Whichever. And you know, we all want that. However, as I was scrolling through my Instagram, I just have a few comments regarding the things I see people posting about their relationships. It is to me adorable that you can be open with your relationship status and show the world who owns your heart. However, Instagram doesn’t need to know everything. People are feeding their followers way too much information. And that is find, but then complain when these followers form a judgement on their lives, and share their opinions in the comments. Also, it’s these same people that are posting themselves as ignorant, thinking they are building themselves a great image.

Tonight I saw this girl posting a picture of a text saying “I would kill every girl that messes with my boyfriend”
And you know, it’s alright to feel this way. But its also very ignorant.
May I remind you that we are in 2014, and unless you’re doing a three way relationship, or are similar to “Sister Wives” you’re not in a relationship with your boyfriend plus the girl that “messes ” with him, it is not her responsibility to keep your relationship in check.
Do not get me wrong I am not making excuses for people who come in between relationships, I’m just opening your eyes on who’s to blame, the girl is NEVER the one you should fight with or blame unless the case is really extreme, you know, like if shes a psychopath or something. YOUR BOYFRIEND has control over the situation. He can make the choice to cheat or not to cheat, the girl is just a consequence of that choice. It’s all about wether he will let her in or not.
It is only after HIS choice that the girl comes in.
That being said, if you’re out here screwing somebody that is not yours, you should stop, because you’re a hoe.

Flaws and all

I have been thinking on posting this somewhere even before I started this blog. I thought it’d be interesting to post my thoughts on society’s perception of people and things.

This is indeed a pretty corny subject. I feel like nowadays, everyone is talking about society and the injustice that reigns among it. It didn’t sound like that when the idea hit me and I grabbed my laptop. This post is not going anywhere, just a quick warning before you get into this reading. 

I have been catching up to a lot of shows and I am currently with the TV. You should know one of my favorite shows is The Originals, and my favorite character of all time Klaus Mikealson. Before I get deep into his personality, I’d like to point out show producers, writers and whoever creates the things we crave on TV. I think Filmography is in “un fase de cambio”.

When I was younger, perfection was closer to God’s example. In movies, shows and cartoons “the enemy” was the one with the crmiminal record, the one that killed. The writers always made sure that flaws were always packed into one person and perfection into another. The two fought throughout the whole thing and everything always ended with the good one winning. 

Nowadays there’s a message trying to be passed on. Embrace flaws, imperfection. In 2014, perfection is only well seen and interpreted physically. The “Virgin Mary” act or the “pure soul” really doesn’t do it for anyone anymore. Psychology has done its course and we are now brought to understand the bad guys. To run deep and discover and the pure reasons to dark actions. 

In a book we were reading last year with my class, Boule de Suif, : a group of people in the midst of which a prostitute, run away from their city for war purposes. As they get to their refuge, they are held hostages by a soldier of the opposite camp. He demands to sleep with the prostitute in exchange for the group’s freedom. The prostitute is overwhelmed by this wave of nationalism and refuses to sleep with the soldier. The others start speaking all sorts of sweet words and lies, to convince her. She realizes their faith is in her hands, more precisely in  her….you know? So she does the deed. When she comes out and packs her things to leave with what she thought were now her friends, the only thing she gets from them are shaming glances. They were shaming her for sleeping with the foreign soldier. 

This makes you sit down, have a drink, sleep, then think again. Who is the bad person here? The prostitute? because she is who she is? 

This is a book from the 1850. We’ve changed and we know better, producers and writers sure do. 

today, understanding someone’s darkness is much more important, 

Back to Klaus Mikealson, the gold medalist for serial killing. In his troubled world, no one understands his darkness, he has been sheding blood for over a thousand years now, and he is so physically strong, and selfish, (and so they think). But I believe people aren’t born killers. There is a reason people grow up to become who they die being. In order for society to take a step further, people should try and understand these things before judgement (legal judgement), jail and or punishment. 

That being said, its hard to put someone’s feelings before ours, depending on how thick the tensions can be and the impulsions their provocations can lead us to. But I strongly believe in that theory that there is good in everyone, despite all the evil out there.

Back to what I was actually talking about. So, like this all explains, flaws, (not physical ones, we haven’t grown that wise and understanding yet, but that’s for another post) have grown to be beautiful and embraced, it is even attractive. Perfect is so…boring.

Picking a side

Personal issue :
Someone once said that” the person that stays neutral to a situation, is in the bad side, the enemy’s side. ” As if, if you choose to be neutral and not acknowledge a criminal, poisonous individual, or and an injustice, then you are as bad and as cruel.
Now, I’ve always said it’s impossible to stay neutral, it is always a matter of being afraid of being honest, because of what it might cost you.
Now, if you’re in a situation where two people you love are in a feud, is being neutral the right thing to do? Clearly one of them is wrong, and I know that. I just can’t seem to decide, who exactly to side on. You can’t comfort one without excluding the other, you HAVE to pick a side and that’s just too hard.
Maybe there is no solution.